Tuesday 13 November 2012

Trial by boobies, part 1 a FOG batrep

Wagoon-Li felt miserable. He shouldn't have drunk that much last. Though a defeat against the Assyrian rebels, his last battle had been undecisive enough to to climb up higher in the hierarchy...

Wagoon-Li se sentait miserable. Il n'aurait pas du boire autant. Meme si sa derniere bataille avait ete une defaite, celle-ci avait ete sufffisamment indecise pour lui permettre de grimper dans la hierarchie... n. 521, aie, ca devient chaud la.

Well played. You're now n.521. Be proud! I'm watching you closely

But now he faced a terrible trial: he to face again his nemesis, the despicable master Porter "madaxeman", in a brutal civil war...again... What to do? What to do? Maybe the party wasn't such a good idea. He needed to think... And not about the striper... Too late...

Mais il avait devant lui une tres lourde tache: affronter une nouvelle fois sa nemesis, le repugnant maitre Porter "madaxeman", dans ce qui serait une terrible guerre civile. Que faire? Que faire? L'orgie d'hier n'etait peut-etre pas une bonne idee finalement... Il fallait reflechir... et ne pas penser a la stripteaseuse... trop tard...





Suddenly, a flash, an idea... He had a plan...
"I'll trap him in the plain... He won't be able to escape... And I'll also recruit some Qin troops...In fact, Let be aggressive, and recruit as many Qin as possible ( in FOG, the Qin are undrilled and only protected, but theyr're impact foot, nasty, and they can have mixed troops with crossbows as well, even nastier )

Soudain, un flash, une idee... Il avait un plan.
"Je vais le pieger dans la plaine, il sera incapable de m'echapper. Oh et je vais recruter des Qin... Soyons fou et recrutons le maximum de Qin possible ( a FOG, les QIN sont undrilled et seulement protected. mais ils sont impact foot et peuvent etre mixes avec des arbaletes, pour donner un coktail detonnant).



Wagoon-Li called his two other generals, Psy and Tarusan:
- "Right guys, you know we face our most dreaded enemy, the "madaxeman".
-Yup. We're so screwed, I already the torturer coming...
- No, fear not. Because I have a plan. The most cunning plan since master Baldrick decided to retire.
- Oh, that cunning? Have you read Sun-Tzu?
-Right. Erm, not quite... Do you remember yesterday's striper? Saburina?
- Oh yeahhh... Sorry, bit of drooling there.
- I know what you mean. Well, while thinking about the best way to defeat him, I thought about her... and here is what I call the "boobies trap": We're going to create a hollow center, with two strong wings. Madaxeman will be sucked in, though he might attack one of the wings, but then it'll be too late.

- Genius!
-Thank you."

And the troops got their marching order, to try to create this "boobies trap"...

Sur ce, Wagoon-Li appela ses generaux, PSY et Tarusa:
-" Ok les gars, vous savez que nous allons affronter notre plus redoutable ennemi, le "madaxeman".
-Ouaip. Et franchement ce me fout le bourdon rien que d'y penser, car la perspective du bourreau et de ses supplices ne m'enchantent guere...
- Ne craignez rien, j'ai un plan machiavelique... Plus machiavelique que celui de maitre Chirac quand il decida de dissoudre son assemblee de conseillers.
- Ah oui quand meme. Tu as enfin lu Sun Tzu?
-Euh... un abrege. Vous vous souvenez de la stripteaseuse d'hier? Saburina?
- Gneeeeeeee. Pardon pour le filet de bave.
-Je comprends. Eh bien, en reflechissant a la meilleure maniere de le battre, j'ai pense a elle. Et voici ce que j'appelle le "piege a notaire": nous allons creer un centre vide aui va attirer Madaxeman, qui va se retrouver pieger par les deux ailes fortes. Il attaquera surement une des ailes, mais il sera alors trop tard.

-Genial!
-Je sais... Au boulot!
Et les troupes recurent leur ordre de marche...


See you very soon for part 2 ;)

2 comments:

  1. Mais, mais...
    Tu nous laisses comme ça? Sur notre faim?
    Entre l'apéritif Sabrinesque et l'apéro Qinéen, j'avoue avoir assez faim...même si le post est vraiment sympa!
    Bon, dans pas longtemps la suite au moins?
    A+.
    Phil...

    ReplyDelete
  2. What? I demand more...er, never mind. If you lose to Madaxe, he'll mock you and your troops in a colorful BATREP. Good luck!

    ReplyDelete